Twinkie Investor Gifts

'Who knew Junior's investing all that money in twinkies would prove to be a shrewd financial move.'

The day the stock market went UP.

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Mom, will you help me take down my drawings? I'm selling my catalog."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

Investing 101 Acronym Test.

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

Artist Painting Dollar.

'I know exactly how you feel, kid. I remember when I wiped out my first client. Of course, I'd been at the job more than 15 minutes.'

"D'you have any porn porn?"

'Your Starbucks, McDonald's, and Hershey Stocks all went down. That shows you should never buy on an empty stomach.'

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

"Hi...Marvin Ramage - composer/ arranger/ musician author and rich."

Bit coin.

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

"So is it good or bad if a stock is viral?"

'See if our technical people can get this up and running.'

"Today treasuries were down on news that bitcoin futures were up."

Drowning in the Financial Crisis.

"Denise, will you share my love and my debt for high tech stocks?"

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

Trading Market Balancing Act.

Stock Exchange - All Seats Now Equipped with Oxygen Marks in Case this Market Goes Higher and Higher.