Storybook Investor Gifts

'I'm sorry my Queen, but Snow White also has a much healthier portfolio than you do.'

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Well did he?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Witch Hardware

'I hear they bought out Winken, Blinken and Nod.'

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

'I'm the good witch...this is my house made out of dental products.'

Free Little Library

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

"And they lived happily ever-after? Well, maybe you should find out who their financial advisor is."

"I know I'm huffing and puffing, but I don't have a temperature. You're safe. Now, let me in."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

Mirror tells wicked queen from Snow White: 'If you do not wish to know the truth, please look away now.'

'Thanks princess, but, no. I'm gay.'

'Me? I took all the money I made on a book I wrote, on investing conservatively, and blew it, on options on futures.'

Will Work For Children.

"Good lord, we found the queen!"

Outer Cuteness vs. Inner Cuteness

"I rolled over my 401K into the football pool."

You called me, boss? Yes. I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we've found. I want you to stop doing that. At least until I'm done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don't need any competitors driving up the prices. Very bad man. When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing.

'This year's stock market compared to last year's? Well, that is a bit before my time.'

"Hey - somebody's been putting additional mileage on my bike, too!"

"Okay, hold really still..."

"The chocolate fudge and whipped cream is okay. But you should have sought planning permission for the giant cherry on the roof!"

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a... puppet? Strumpet? Trumpet? Musket, crumpet... I'm the worst children's author ever." Mother Goose struggles...

Oz in a Congestion Charge zone.

'Oh no, a nuclear war has started and I don't even know which stocks to pick..!'

"If only I'd bought Microsoft with it..."

'I' believe this fund's prospectus more if it didn't start out 'once upon a time'.'

"Something that in 20 years will be worth a lot of money."

The Princess and the Particle

"Once upon a time and a half..."