Twinkie Investor Pillows

The day the stock market went UP.

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Mom, will you help me take down my drawings? I'm selling my catalog."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

Investing 101 Acronym Test.

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

'I know exactly how you feel, kid. I remember when I wiped out my first client. Of course, I'd been at the job more than 15 minutes.'

Artist Painting Dollar.

"D'you have any porn porn?"

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

"Hi...Marvin Ramage - composer/ arranger/ musician author and rich."

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

Bit coin.

"So is it good or bad if a stock is viral?"

'See if our technical people can get this up and running.'

"Today treasuries were down on news that bitcoin futures were up."

Drowning in the Financial Crisis.

Stock Exchange - All Seats Now Equipped with Oxygen Marks in Case this Market Goes Higher and Higher.

Trading Market Balancing Act.

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

"Denise, will you share my love and my debt for high tech stocks?"

'That just shows how much everyone depends on China economically.'