Investment Tinkerer Pillows

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Drool Marks

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Early cyborg.

The Not-So Smart Meter

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Gadget geek.

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Bicycle sat nav.

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Congratulations on your retirement!

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'