Technology Tinkerer Pillows

"Does your car have any idea why my car pulled it over?"

The power of positive thinking is born, followed immediately by the birth of the politely bemused, cynical retort.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'The front is electric, the back is hamster.'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

Then - 'Oh no did I really say that last night??' Now - 'Edit, delete, delete, edit, edit, delete'

"Where do I swipe?"

Computer birdhouse.

"...somehow it's just not the same with a microwave"

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

'That's why i never wear my mobile phone next to my gun.'

12 - Step Verification

"I think you're looking for 3-D."

'We're conducting experiments to dertermine which has a longer life, new phone technology, or a fruit fly.'

Your wife is not responding.

'3-D TV Kit'

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

Share Prices - "Due to a delay in installing our new computer price system, I can give you an answer immediately."

"Give me liberty, or give me just one sec."

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Woman says cat is a great mouser.

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

'I don't need a bed pan, but an oil pan would be nice.'

"I'm declawed, but with this headset, I can at least virtually scratch up the furniture."

"Screen time... screen time..."

STRIP Hambone: User friendly computer

My First Visit to the Laundromat

Worm finishes building cocoon and phone rings.

'Snow Now I have to invent chains'

"Black holes, quasars, galactic storms, and now those damn space signals from Earth."

'It's an early warning system, it picks up my wife.'

'... and power surges and outages don't affect this baby one bit.'

"It says they're upgrading their software to something worse."

Man walks dog using treadmill.