Technology Tinkerer Pillows

"Does your car have any idea why my car pulled it over?"

The power of positive thinking is born, followed immediately by the birth of the politely bemused, cynical retort.

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'The front is electric, the back is hamster.'

Then - 'Oh no did I really say that last night??' Now - 'Edit, delete, delete, edit, edit, delete'

"Where do I swipe?"

'If you lose your electrical charge before you get to a recharge, you just wind this.'

Computer birdhouse.

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

'That's why i never wear my mobile phone next to my gun.'

"...somehow it's just not the same with a microwave"

"I think you're looking for 3-D."

12 - Step Verification

'We're conducting experiments to dertermine which has a longer life, new phone technology, or a fruit fly.'

Your wife is not responding.

"Give me liberty, or give me just one sec."

"Screen time... screen time..."

My First Visit to the Laundromat

"Black holes, quasars, galactic storms, and now those damn space signals from Earth."

Man walks dog using treadmill.

"It says they're upgrading their software to something worse."

Woman says cat is a great mouser.

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Share Prices - "Due to a delay in installing our new computer price system, I can give you an answer immediately."

'... and power surges and outages don't affect this baby one bit.'

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

Worm finishes building cocoon and phone rings.

'It's an early warning system, it picks up my wife.'

'Snow Now I have to invent chains'

'I don't need a bed pan, but an oil pan would be nice.'

STRIP Hambone: User friendly computer

'3-D TV Kit'

"I'm declawed, but with this headset, I can at least virtually scratch up the furniture."

"How did you know I was hit by a low-flying drone?"