Technology Tinker Pillows

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

'Forget tradition! This thing can boil eye of newt in 15 seconds!'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"A quiet, romantic table for two – not that it’ll do any good."

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

'Aye Aye phone.'

"Now, you show me yours"

December 17, 1903: We miraculously devise a craft that can transport human beings though the sky. December 18, 1903: We figure out how to use said craft to kill people.

Solar car with automatic navigation system, automatically choosing sunny routes.

"Can Interest you in something new?"

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

Sistine Selfie

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Drool Marks

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

The Not-So Smart Meter

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Mouse in a hamster wheel.