Tweet Aficionado Pillows

'See you later, Steve - I have to catch up on my tweets.'

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

Klimt Kiss Phones

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."