Social Media Aficionado Pillows

"I just think it sends the wrong message."

"I've got about 20 pages of questionable internet comments here."

"There's been a huge outpouring of emoticons."

'No Facebook page, no Twitter, no blog... and you expect kids to believe in you?'

'I've found that I can get away with posting nasty comments if I end them with a 'wink' emoticon.'

'My Facebook profile pic is my face Photoshopped onto a heavier person's body. That way I look thinner in person.'

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

'I find that when I discuss my research online, younger students will read it if I close with a joke and write LOL.'

Then - 'Oh no did I really say that last night??' Now - 'Edit, delete, delete, edit, edit, delete'

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

"It's not fair. . . thoe cute puppy videos set an impossible standard the rest of us have to live up to!"

Selfie-Conscious

"Don't worry, we'll have you straightened out in no time."

"All those in favor Retweet."

My master abandoned me because I had more 'likes' than he does. Please help.

'Would you mind calling me an ambulance before you tweet about this?'

Buttbook

"So if you go on vacation and no one knows about it, did you really go on vacation?"

"Instead of creating life, I've decided just to establish an online persona."

Goodnight Social Media.

Be sure to like us on social media.

'Kathy, are you or anyone else in this office computer savvy enough to show me how to share a cute, kitty meme?'

'What were those things those boys were selling?'

Finally! A real-time, app-based solution to most of your pesky first-world problems (free download)!

"The first adult decision he's had to make is between driving and texting."

'Since I lost my cell phone, I never know what to do with my hands.'

Cosmetic Surgery Center: Be sure to like us on faceliftbook!

Early Social Networking Sites.

'Please, pay attention.'

The Thinker?

'If you think I do a good job teaching quadratic equations, like me on facebook.'

'Tweet, tweet...Acme Bird Seed is the best, tweet.'

"Will you be dining with others tonight, or just the company of your smartphone?"

'I was like, LOL, when I should have been OMG.'

'The good news is your girlfriend is trending. The bad news is he's trending on men's room walls.'