Social Media Fanatic Pillows

'Interesting... From the way you describe it, it's almost as though the flu has... 'gone viral,' per se.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Tell the world, are you digging for world peace?"

Blunder Man

"Take me to your social media influencer."

Obsession with the Internet.

'Meet after class?'

'Can I have a few minutes to update my profile page?'

'Don't panic! People often lose their pulse when they're following live blogs.'

"I don't believe in zombies."

"You know what they say...a good picture is worth a thousand words."

"That's right. I'm a photobomb sweeper."

"Ok, maybe no Mt. Rushmore, but I'd settle for a nobel prize for tweets."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

Digital Fomo!

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Updated Classis: Alice Through the You Tube.

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Trick or Tweet