Tweeting Fanatic Pillows

"All this sitting and staring at my Twitter account is making me hungry!"

'Before I pass sentence, have you anything to tweet?'

"I'm leaving politics so I can spend more quality tweeting-time with my family."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Bird Tweet.

Obsession with the Internet.

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

Football supporters.

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

"Tell the world, are you digging for world peace?"

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"I'm on Twitter and I get the feeling I'm not being followed."

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

All right, if it will make you feel better, I'll call you my BFF.

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"It's not enough -- others must follow me on social media."

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

My Fair Lady Twitter

'35,000 twitter followers, but no real friends...'

The twittering president.