Tweeting Fan Pillows

"How about putting that in a tweet?"

The Proust of Twitter

Bird Tweet.

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Puppy and Elephant Selfie

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"Take two aspirin and follow me on TikTok."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"I don't care how many likes you got for it on Facebook it's still a D minus!"

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

"I know you haven't been flossing. Your electronic toothbrush has been tweeting me."

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

Tinder

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

Book Shop: The great American Novel and The great American tweet.

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

Facebook 33 A.D.

My Fair Lady Twitter

The twittering president.

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"

I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.