Hashtag Aficionado Pillows

Bird Tweet.

"And close it with 'Yours truly, #innovativethinking #strongfocus #greatthirdquarter, Larry.'"

"#skydiving"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Sitting in a tree

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Driverless cars rage.

"What did you download at school today?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Valentine Day

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"