Tv Junkies Anonymous Gifts

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Showbiz Awards

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

University Soapflakes

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

Stephen Fry

Big screen TV falling through floor

Dancing with the Star Wars

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

Can't Touch This

Mog The Week

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

Frank and Ernie's Poetry Corner. Robert Frost. TV Guide. I think I'll watch some late-night comedy

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."