Tv Junkie Gifts

The movie was over. But not for Bob.

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

'Aha! You are addicted to American Idol. You have the voting numbers on speed dial.'

Ant and Dec.

America's funniest investment scams

'Harry's in his cultural center.'

TV says 'Watch me!'

TV Remote control user is zapped by his telly

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

'He's in training for the Olympics'

'...And now, stay tuned for the 'Stay Tuned' show....'

'I can tell you were watching a cooking show. There's drool on the screen.'

'I sometimes wonder how in hell we endure this.'

'That was quite a reality show -- the guy got voted out of the human race.'

"Coming up on the news at ten: the new strange-but-true candy bar diet...names of the pets of your favorite YouTubers...plus some stuff about the world."

'Gribner is batting .317 with six home runs and a positive steroid testing average of just .17 lifetime. Here's the pitch.'

'It's a new concept; instead of struggling to fit the TV in the house we just put the house inside the TV.'

'Our records show you've never appeared on a TV reality show. Are you some kind of subversive?'

'It just so happens that I LIKE shows geared to a 12-year-old mentality!'

All the stuff you need is here.

You have now lost 621537 brain cells.

They say I get 152 channels.

'I can't find anything wrong with you, but watch the commercials on daytime TV...you'll find some ailment that fits your complaints.'

'This one is for helping win the TV ratings war with my expert commentary.'

"I'm not interested in the meaning of life...I want to know what's going to happen in my soap"

"Today's weather will be astounding followed tonight by mind boggling!"

'Depend on Dudley to bring in something utterly useless.'

'Good evening. I'm Bill O'Reilly, and... what are you looking at, four-eyes?'

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

TV on Easter Island

Kaley Christine Cuoco

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"No way! Are you sure?! That's crazy!"