Tv Interview Viewer Gifts

"Well, Mom, I guess you saw what happened."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

I'm a self-made man!

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'Cat job interviews.'

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Bad Interview Technique

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

Presenter Auditions.

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"