Tv Interview Fanatic Gifts

'Mrs Smith, get me a dictionary for my TV interview and have the words yes and no removed!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Cut!

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

Astral Projection

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Do you have any other skills?

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

Help wanted. Various positions available.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"