Tv Fanatic Gifts

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

Man on desert island points a remote controller at the sunset.

'Don't leave me Helen! Can't we talk about it after the golf tournament?'

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

The End: However, Stay tuned for spin-offs, sequels and imitations.

'It's repetitive strain injury - try using the thumb on your other hand for the television remote.'

"Switch the channel, dear, this show is scaring the bears."

"Do you see your father much?"

'Welcome to the logo-in-each-corner channel'

'We interrupt this program to look in on the Shelton's in their tacky apartment in Greenwood Heights.'

'Talk about patriotism, folks. Meet Millie Perkins of grand rapids, who plans to donate her game show winnings to help pay off the U.S. budget deficit.'

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

New Season on the TV / New Season on the sofa

Pit Bull With A Remote.

'He's a real gun nut -- he always roots for Elmer Fudd.'

Remote control.

'Would you tell my visitors that my condition is desperate? My favorite TV program comes on in five minutes.'

'Actually, that's 4D TV. The fourth D is for 'divorce.''

The 100 Best Compilation Shows.

"'Goodbye' - is that all I say?"

'How can you tell?'

'To her, reality TV is bigger than life.'

Men Fighting Over Remote Control In Hospital

Television flasher.

'No, it won't keep until the next commercial!'

The first successful removal of a TV remote control from an adult male's clenched fist.

"We interrupt this program because the actors just can't stop giggling."

"I'm totally cool with cutting household expenses...but maybe we can cut off the water! Or...or disconnect the phones! Or skip food for a few days! But please...it's my reason for living! Don't cancel the cable!"

"My dad doesn't give me enough credit. He thinks if I watch TV all day long the commercials will influence everything I do."

"It's another one of our neighbors calling to complain. I think your sound bar may be working a little too well."

Prisoner of television

"I don't know how they can say that TV is killing the art of conversation, I mean it's all we EVER talk about."

"The season finale of the world is near."

'It had to happen! They've made Top Gear into a costume drama!'

'We interrupt this program because the sponsor just went out of business!'