Tv Interview Viewer T-Shirts

"Well, Mom, I guess you saw what happened."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

I'm a self-made man!

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'Cat job interviews.'

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Bad Interview Technique

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

Presenter Auditions.

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'