Tv Cooking Show Enthusiasts Pillows

Cannibal cookery programme.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Keith Floyd.

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

It's a Gordon Ramsay recipe, so if you don't ****** like it you can ******* off.

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

Mary Berry

Here's one I made earlier.

"When did they add this channel?!"

My Cauldron Rules

'Ready, steady, Operate'

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

"The recipe says, that the whipped cream has to be piped onto the sponge."

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Chefs

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

'Amazing - No sooner do we invent cooking than we get the first celebrity chef.'

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

"Which cooking competition show did you get your training from?"