Tv Cooking Show Fanatic Pillows

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Astral Projection

Keith Floyd.

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"When did they add this channel?!"

Mary Berry

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

Here's one I made earlier.

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Charles please! Not a slice and dice movie."

My Cauldron Rules

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

"Are you sure this species has never been filmed before?"

"Mom, turn on the TV!"

Studio 51

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

Sushi bar Chef: DARN Sushi train spotters!

Chefs

'Ready, steady, Operate'

'Hi, I'm here to apply for the EXTREME make over talk show!'

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'