Tv Cooking Show Fanatic Pillows

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

Here's one I made earlier.

"When did they add this channel?!"

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

My Cauldron Rules

"Charles please! Not a slice and dice movie."

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

'Ready, steady, Operate'

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

Sushi bar Chef: DARN Sushi train spotters!

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

Chefs

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Studio 51

'Hi, I'm here to apply for the EXTREME make over talk show!'

"Mom, turn on the TV!"

"Are you sure this species has never been filmed before?"

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."