Cooking Show Fanatic Pillows

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Which cooking competition show did you get your training from?"

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

Here's one I made earlier.

"Waiter!"

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

My Cauldron Rules

Cafe offers corn several ways.

"When did they add this channel?!"

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

'Ready, steady, Operate'

Chefs

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

Sushi bar Chef: DARN Sushi train spotters!

'For this dish we're going to need two bottles of good quality red wine. And that's before we even start cooking.'

Studio 51

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"Mom, turn on the TV!"