Show Fanatic Pillows

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"The end of my favorite series is near."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Ok, Bachelor number 2: What's your idea of a perfect first date?'

Haywatch

As Seen Watching TV

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

'Books are okay, except they only get one channel.'

"Those who can can, dance."

"Let's just binge watch this."

"Ed's not really into binge watching...he just can't find the remote."

Houdini.

Show Jumping Tantrums

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

'You did your book report on the TV schedule?'

Jeffrey Tambor

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"