Turkey Trot Enthusiast Gifts

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Agility God

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

Sun Worship

"Never say you're stuffed!"

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

'Haven't you ever heard of warmed up turkey?'

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

Before and After Holiday Diet

A Dog Is For Life Not Just For Christmas.

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

Turkey Dinner and gravity

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

Holiday Overkill.

God perfects his turkey design.

"Hippity hoppity. Easter's on its way."

'I don't know what happened in there, Stanley... But I've completely lost the urge to eat. I mean it - I feel stuffed! Supposed to come back right before thanksgiving for a follow-up though.'

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."