Turf Tamer Gifts

Golf Hil Divot

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"Lovely dovetail."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

New Swiss Army Knife

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"Most projects require three hands."

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

'Of course, now that we have turf, we'll need someone to protect it.'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

"He used to fetch my paper, but now that I read online he's my IT support."

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

"My turn."

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

Menace.