Turf Accountant Gifts

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"I can't see this gambling commission working"

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

A cheque of bookies

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

British savings accounts

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

Profit

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Spot the difference.

21st century water cooler conversations.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.