Turf Accountant Pillows

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"I can't see this gambling commission working"

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

"From now on we get David Beckham to officially open all our new betting shops"

A cheque of bookies

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

In basket-case.

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Profit

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."