Accountancy Gifts

'That's it! That's the chart we've been looking for.'

'Your repeated questioning as to whether I've been a 'good boy' has no relevance Mr Claus. I still need to see your accounts!'

'But the only way I can explain our derivatives and stock swaps is through interpretive dance!'

'The numbers aren't working.'

"There's a rumour that we're going to merge again."

'Taxes? They're a penalty for doing well.'

'Why didn't we get the Bodson account?' - 'We were outbribed by the competition.'

"We're not afraid of you. My date's an accountant. There's strength in numbers."

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

"When we went inside the numbers, we found goo."

'Could you put me through to the Quarterly Statement Report, translation department?'

'Daddy, tell me again about the brave boy accountant who used his finger to plug the tax loophole in the revenue dike.'

'We're pretty sure we've got all the right figures, we're just not sure what order to put them in!'

How much do we have in the contingency fund...? About half a drawer full.

"Oh dear, Mr. Kringle. I fear we may have to put you on our naughty list."

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself. . .feel sorry for those who have to work with you!

'This can't be good!'

'Everything was fine until you insisted on transparent accounting!'

'Just saying I'm a CPA is boring. I'm going to start saying 'I'm a CPA, as it were.''

"No. I am afraid Accountants will never be cool."

'The most encouraging thing about next quarter is there will be a neat quarter.'

'We should know soon. He's just running the numbers by upper management.'

'I'm afraid there's no tax deductibility for 'A life wasted in fruitless search for fulfillment through the acquisition of meaningless wealth'.'

Talk like a pirate accountant day.

'See honey? You're mistaken. Chart fifty-one clearly shows my love for you today is just as strong as the day we met!'

'Of course I'm depressed, doctor - I'm an accountant!'

'Wait a minute!...that watermark looks suspiciously like a coffee stain.'

"Is my answer within the acceptable margin of error?"

'WHAT??! 3.695.897 euro for the pizza delivery service??!'

'Well, I've added taxes and impositions!'

"My accountant says I'm going through the five stages of denial about my financial situation."

"On the other hand, if I hadn't embezzled the three hundred thousand dollars, i never could have afforded such a high-priced lawyer!"

"Is it called a tax 'code' because it's difficult to decipher."

"Hey, you're good! I could do with someone like you who knows all the loopholes."

When accountants turn feral.