Accountant Gifts

"We are neither hunters nor gatherers. We are accountants."

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"I thought it was legal-I wrote it on a legal pad."

"Now that the holidays are over we'd like you to get back to crunching numbers."

"It's the old story. I was in the middle of successful acting career when I was bitten by the accounting bug."

Accountants just want to have fun...

Alternative Dickens: Scrooge Is Audited.

King Lear and his Accoutant

Uncle Sam prepares to fire a starting gun, while the Grim Reaper and a taxman from the IRS prepare to run a race against each other.

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Oh, what the hell, I'll add another zero."

'No kidding! I thought the term, 'bean counter' was just a slang term.'

'Did you get any feedback on that audit report?'

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

IRS: You are here - arrow points to taxes, in between birth and death.

"It's up to you now, Miller. The only thing that can save us is an accounting breakthrough."

"Someday all these anonymous accounts will belong to shell companies of which you will deny all knowledge."

'But on the bright side, I was able to find a loophole that should solve your little tax problem.'

Gone Bookkeepin'

"Run it by legal." "Run it by accounting."

'It's not an accounting breakthrough, Sam. It's wrong.'

"But on the positive side, money can't buy happiness, so who cares?"

Accountant getting a tattoo ('Born to Depreciate!')

'Half of the numbers are accurate, that's why we're auditing the remaining 56%.'

'And, unfortunately, accounting is reporting that 'enough' is no longer enough.'

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

"Audit him - but make it look like an accident."

"We're trying to put the fun back into filing taxes."

'I wonder if you could shed some light on this department's high 'miscellaneous expenditure' total?'

"I never should have tried to take my accounting to the next level."

'Oh, so you do keep track of where you bury things.'

Basic Tax Law/Loopholes.

"My job is in finance. This is just my hobby."

'I see you have all of your checks and receipts. What are you trying to hide?'