Corporate Accountant Gifts

Management buy-out.

'Are you sure Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear? He sounds like a corporate accountant.'

'Psst! Corporate accounting?'

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

"Once upon a time, there was a middle-aged man who left his job in corporate accounting to focus on his writing . . ."

'I thought you said you were creative.'

'Imagine the damage he could have done as a corporate accountant...'

"I need bankruptcy protection so I'm firing you."

"We needed a tax write-off, so the company donated your body to science."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

British savings accounts

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"