Canine Accountant Gifts

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"Hmmm....not bad. What about liquid assets?"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

Dog Bookends

Tax Preparer. I'm working on my client's tax returns. Mars, being the "red planet," is claiming a business operating loss. Jupiter, with all those moons, takes deductions for almost 70 dependents. And earth has no new nations this year ... so no "capitol gains" to declare. Did Mercury lower his taxes? Yeah, he's eligible for a huge solar energy tax credit!

Branson space shot

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

You're doing "taxes", huh? What's your high score?

Open Wide The Dentist's View.

'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'

"Be careful - these things have consequences. Tax consequences."

"Fred doesn't take photos. He relives our vacation memories by viewing credit card receipts."

"Sin tax? I love it."

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

'Keep an eye on McAllister -- I think he's cooking the books.'

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

'My dog is worried about the economy because dog food is up to 50p a can... that's about £3.50 in dog money!'

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"I'm their accountant. Trust me - I'm the one you want to get lucky with."

'I realize that this may be carping, but I never did live long enough to enjoy my I.R.A. account.'

Dog makes a bank deposit.

Accountant Reading 'The Joy of Cooking.'

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

'My client pleads not guilty. His creative accounting software made him do it.'

"I look after her tax affairs for �1,000 - she wanted �2,000 but that's all I could afford."

'Forget the early withdrawal penalty. What I'm taking out, I didn't put in!'

"No wonder I got it so cheap!"

'I can't play -- I'm being audited.'

'We like to put the 'fun' in 'refund'!'

Bean Counter Salad.