Tuition Warriors Gifts

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"My making two million a year, …. It doesn't make me seem 'Mannish', does it?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

"Ted doesn't test well."

Studying and technology

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

Examiners.

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"

Executive Lifestyle

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

First hurdle to getting a loan. Angry woman.

'Come on. It's time to wage education.'

'I'm worried -- It's getting harder and harder to qualify for Federal grants!'