Education Warriors Gifts

"How can they say it's getting easier - this is rocket science."

"Good news! - I've just finished paying back my student loan...."

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Staff Yearbook

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"Ted doesn't test well."

Gold versus Knowledge

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Examiners.