Educational Warrior Gifts

Principal to teacher: 'You've got to get a handle on the screaming and running down the hall. I don't care how afraid you are of your students.'

'If I didn't flunk something every once in a while, how would I ever learn anything?'

"Sorry, no more room. What a shame, I’m the teacher."

'Worried about this year's class sizes?'

"When you were my age, you didn't have to walk all over town to find affordable student loans."

'Being a teacher, I'm very athletic. I'm a political football, a punching bag, and I jump hurdles.'

Battle of Covid 19

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Child finding school too hard.

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"Ted doesn't test well."

Examiners.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Studying and technology

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today; everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grade means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanting to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"Welcome to the brave new corporate gulag, Hank. The dissenting wheel always gets the shrink!"

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Man! I haven't slept at all since school started!"

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

Truth In Education

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'