Education Warrior Gifts

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'Come on. It's time to wage education.'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Just Another Bully.

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

"You shouldn't blame your father for the 'F'...you should do assignments yourself!"

"I'll tell you how my first day went after you lock the door and take the phone off the hook!"

"The government has given us money for a few little extras, what shall we use it for, heating or lighting?"

School shuts early on Friday to 'balance books'.

"We pay top dollar here at hell hole high."

Studying and technology

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

Staff Yearbook

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

"Ted doesn't test well."