Education Warrior Pillows

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'Come on. It's time to wage education.'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Just Another Bully.

Help. High performing teacher trapped in low performing pay scale.

"You shouldn't blame your father for the 'F'...you should do assignments yourself!"

"I'll tell you how my first day went after you lock the door and take the phone off the hook!"

"The government has given us money for a few little extras, what shall we use it for, heating or lighting?"

School shuts early on Friday to 'balance books'.

"We pay top dollar here at hell hole high."

Studying and technology

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Staff Yearbook

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

Another shot heard round the world.

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'