Teaching Warrior Pillows

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

'Can you debunk my essay?'

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

'And in conclusion.'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Examiners.

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Militant Pacifists

"Ted doesn't test well."

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Studying and technology

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

HOMEWORK: It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it!!!

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'