Teaching Warrior Pillows

'I am sick and tired of your constant whining about our overcrowded classroom, No.112!'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"You took that news with dignity and grace. I really wanted you to spaz out."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

"Put your phones on vibrate. Maybe they'll keep you awake."

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

'Can you debunk my essay?'

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

'And in conclusion.'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Examiners.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Militant Pacifists

"Ted doesn't test well."

Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today; everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grade means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanting to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.

STRIP *Community Care * Squeezing it all in before lunch

Studying and technology

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

HOMEWORK: It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it!!!

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'