Tuition Warrior Gifts

Building has etched in stone above it: 'Education', 'Tradition', 'Financing'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

Teacher to students: 'A penny for your thoughts, but only if you're here on scholarship.'

'That's required reading' - University Tuition.

"What these students have to understand is that 'higher' education refers to price."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"Ted doesn't test well."

Examiners.

Studying and technology

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

HOMEWORK: It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it!!!

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

Final Exams Tip

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

Truth In Education

Exams

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'