Truancy Expert Gifts

"I'm sick and can't come to school today. Do you need a loaner?"

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"I've been evicted."

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

"Thanks for the 'Doctor's excuse' but I like to write my own material."

'Do you realize this is the third time we've packed up and moved to Canada?'

"No, you're not getting too old for school."

Prince William and Kate Middleton

So Your Landlord Is Trying to Evict You

'How could you swindle those good people who trusted you?'

'I'm doing my bit to reduce overcrowding in the classroom.'

Spain's former King Juan Carlos goes to go exile over scandals

'I amassed a fortune and you had to have a government bailout. Why would I let you manage my wealth?'

'Damp? The bath's got a ring round its OUTSIDE!'

'Come back later -- he's grooming his successor.'

"I guess I'll need to stay home from school 'til the bandages come off."

"You don't have to worry about ending up here. I have tenure."

Marvin Shlepmuffin - the guy who pre-programs your fire alarm battery to fail at 2:30 in the morning every time...

'Maintenance' first then 'Rent increase' on apartment blocks

'And this is my landlord...'

"Of course, it's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

'We can't say they aren't learning. Twenty two of them have learned to call in sick.'

"Well, it would have been worth half a million pounds..."

"Mom knows I'm faking and won't let me skip school. She's got a Sixth Sense of Sickness."

Teachers; 'Oh no! It's the truancy inspector.'

"Hello, L'il Tykes Day Care Center? This is Ethan. I'll be playing from home today."

'I have major trust issues - my father didn't leave me one...'