Truancy Gifts

'Yes, how to get out of class by shoving red ink up the nose.'

"No, you're not getting too old for school."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'I admire your floatibility.'

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

St. Elmo's fired.

'Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.'

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

'We'll add extra to your severance package if you promise to go to work for our competition.'

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

'I interview well, but only for exit interviews.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

'We're keeping Edwards because he forwards the funnier e-mails.'

"I have some character-building news for you."

"Don't bother replying. That's YOUR job being advertised."

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

"Trevor, you've been an asset to the company for the past ten years, but it's time for a fresh face..."

"Dead man walking!"

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

"Well, I admire your resilience."

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

"Thanks for the 'Doctor's excuse' but I like to write my own material."

'I hear Jenkins is going after your job...'

'Don't change the channel.'

'I wonder what this means...they've gift-wrapped my pay cheque.'

"You have two options for leaving the firm, either pursue other options or go in another direction..."

"My solicitor tells me I have grounds for a divorce. You're a control freak."