Truancy Observer Gifts

'We can't say they aren't learning. Twenty two of them have learned to call in sick.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Dog Park / Cat Park

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'Something has spooked the prairie dogs.'

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

"Your son's web presence doesn't make up for his truancy."

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"You will not gain any sympathy from this court by offering to give one-tenth of your haul to the Church."

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

'I like it!'

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

People in street, "Ooh doesn't he take after his dad"

"Thanks for the 'Doctor's excuse' but I like to write my own material."

"No, you're not getting too old for school."

Gas Prices

'Why do birds fly south for winter?'

'I'm doing my bit to reduce overcrowding in the classroom.'

Our friends aren't the only thing headed south, Fred.

'… and another thing ... when we go south, it's pronounced 'bird', not 'boid'.'

"There go the accountants. Yessiree, down South for the winter. Of course, they'll be back in time for tax season..."

"Bipolar."

"The world's getting smaller, right, so why are the postal prices getting larger?"

Displaying Christian symbol deemed offensive.

To Card Or Not To Card

"I guess I'll need to stay home from school 'til the bandages come off."

Jesus is tempted in the desert.

'Your baptism will bring you closer to God!'

"Have you noticed? They're making everything smaller at the grocery store...but they're keeping prices the same!"

No Smoking . . . No Mobile Phones . . . No looking out of the window.

A vampire is positioned upside down at a bus stop, looking at its cell phone.