Truancy Tactician Gifts

"Yes, I am pleased that you came to class today, but when I sent you down to the office with the attendance sheet, you never came back!"

"I guess I'll need to stay home from school 'til the bandages come off."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

US and the EU

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

The Jose Padilla Experience

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

Carlo Ancelotti

"That was a rumor day."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

"Whither NATO?"

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!