Inheritance Expert Gifts

'I have major trust issues - my father didn't leave me one...'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Contest of wills.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

"This is what happens when a family business doesn't have a succession plan!"

'And now we come to the sore losers...'

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

"Unless you really don't like one of your children, it's best to leave your debt divided equally between them."

Law Offices. Ernie's client left his fortune to his dog, and his cat is contesting the will.

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'