Trophy Humorist Gifts

Man sitting in chair having a drink, Elephant trophy is drinking from the man's glass using it's trunk.

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Bailiff."

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Repeat after me..."

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

Breakfast at Universities

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

"Guilty times infinity."

Undergraduate and don

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

"Operation Warp Speed complete!"

"In case you had any doubts, Holbrook, you're fired!"

'I'm still trying to decide if I should join the workforce or get my masters in staying.'

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

'Your first trial?'

"Phil's a living legend on this campus. His last grant proposal won a Pulitzer."

Henry followed the dress code at inappropriate times.

'We had to bring a judge out of retirement, but we got you a speedy trial.'

'No, I'm not on trial here. I'm on the jury!'

"Is doing the report completely in emojis considered plagiarism?"

After 10 years, the great potato race of 1997 was finally declared a tie.

"This year I thought it would be appropriate to light a womenoran!"

Girl sees two vending machines: 'Pop' and 'Culture'

"Sorry, this is NOT a school, it is a university: we have an entrance exam..."

A mounted fish eats a man's arm