Award Show Humorist Gifts

"When they give his stalker an award for 'Best Supporting Role' I know something is wrong with this business."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"It's obviously an original."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"They should've called me for the sketch instead. She's not even funny. What a complete bomb-ala."

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

"My conceptual artwork - documented in these photographs - consists of my going on a bus to cleveland, buying a blue hat, putting three feathers on it, and throwing it off a bridge in Michigan."

'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'

"In case you had any doubts, Holbrook, you're fired!"

Thinking about TV.

'You're messing with my head.'

"I see from your resume you have a black belt in accountancy."

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

"Baxter, I'm doing an online course in delegating and I want you to sit the exam for me."

'I'm still trying to decide if I should join the workforce or get my masters in staying.'

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'