Trophy Critic Gifts

An angry Shark has finally found the person who has his missing Jaws and teeth being mounted as a trophy

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"It's a play on words."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

'What does it say, Dad?'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

Can't Touch This

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

William Shakespeare

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

Midsummer Night's Dream

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics! (Published originally on February 9, 2013).

Can't Touch This

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

Christmas TV...

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

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