Trojan Enthusiast T-Shirts

Somewhere near the city of Troy, circa the 13th century BC.

'What clan do you belong to?'

"It is we."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Scottish party

Out of kilter.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

Chef copy robot

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

Highland Piper.

"I don't want our date to end, either, but my arm is about to fall off."

The Scottish Lawn

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

"Excuse me, do you folks believe in ghosts?"

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

Janet Leigh

Hannibal "I turned down the part of one of his meals."

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

Monkey Business

"Heeeere's your contractor. Sorry I'm three weeks late, but better late than never, I always say."

"No, we’re not lost, Claire. And yes, I have seen ‘Deliverance’!"

Maria Teresa Vera

"It was a lot easier to keep up with the Joneses before they replaced their entire workforce with robots."

Where Scottish milk comes from.

'Sure I can put in a wet bar, too.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."