Trojan Detectives T-Shirts

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Water divining Mars

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

Excessive Paperwork

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

Violence on TV.

'First you must prove your worthiness.'

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

'Good afternoon madam, we're Federal Bear Investigators. We believe a miss Goldilocks lives here?'

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"Handwriting analysis has revealed that Spencer is not in fact my husband."

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."