Trojan Detectives Gifts

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

"Well, we can kiss being free-range goodbye."

Water divining Mars

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'

Excessive Paperwork

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

Violence on TV.

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

'First you must prove your worthiness.'

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

'Good afternoon madam, we're Federal Bear Investigators. We believe a miss Goldilocks lives here?'

"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

I thought you might want to color it in. Color chalk. 1 1 1 2 1 1 4 4 5 5

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

"Handwriting analysis has revealed that Spencer is not in fact my husband."