Detour Detectives Gifts

"Excuse me, is this the third turning on the left?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Chaos Theory Lecture - Upstairs and ask again.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

Micro and Macro Department,

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

"Honey, check it out — giant porcupine tracks."

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

Devil in the detail

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

The Life of Riley...

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

When pedants take a break.

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

Road Construction.

Forward Planning - The key to Success

'Don't tell me we've been following the wrong light!'

I'm sorry, sir, but the fact-checkers convention isn't until next week. Hotel.

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

"This is nothing. You should have been with us last year at Fifty-third and Lex."

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'