Detour Detectives Pillows

"Excuse me, is this the third turning on the left?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Chaos Theory Lecture - Upstairs and ask again.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

Micro and Macro Department,

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"Honey, check it out — giant porcupine tracks."

The Life of Riley...

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

Devil in the detail

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

When pedants take a break.

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

Road Construction.

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

Forward Planning - The key to Success

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

"This is nothing. You should have been with us last year at Fifty-third and Lex."

'There's only one piece left. C'mon, we can figure this out.'

'It's a simple change. Instead of software, you should be writing off your employees as hardware.'

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"